Irv asks the million dollar question: “Who was supposed to take the clothes back?” and the show fades out. Ridiculously, to ominous music it shows us a “coming up” where Sabrina calmly explains that she didn’t know she was supposed to take the clothes back. Seriously, the editing makes it seem like she’s admitting she hit one of the kids or is dying or something. But no. She didn’t know she was supposed to take the clothes back until Saturday. Ooooooh.
And a clip of Denise on a stripper pole, which, perhaps unsurprisingly, she appears to know her way around.
Once back we recap the conversation about the damn clothes so far. We hear Irv ask his question again. Sabrina raises her hand somewhat petulantly and says “From all the conversations I guess it was me.” And then the thing about not knowing until Saturday. Then Sho bitches “I told you Friday.” “Not true.” she counters. “100% true.” snaps Sho. Somebody is lying, voices over Denise and she needs to find out who. As it turns out, they don’t actually ” find out” who’s lying (how could they, in a he said/she said) situation like this) but simply decide that it’s Sho. Which probably is true, but is also kind of unfair.
Sabrina and Sho both look really pissy. Denise interviews that it’s about integrity. Oh Jesus, can we drop this whole “this is really important but not because it’s about clothes and/or money” bullshit? This isn’t a medical review board. Sabrina claims, in a way that sounds pretty plausible given how Sho talks to her, that he simply called and demanded to know where the clothes were and then hung up. Then she says what, for some weird reason, turns out to be Sho’s undoing, which is that on Saturday he told her “I’m just gonna tell Denise I fucked up.” I’m not sure, given all the accusations of lying that have been flying about, why Sho doesn’t just say that Sabrina is lying about that, but instead everyone just decides to believe that and be mad at Sho. I think the editors just got bored with this segment and decided to wrap it up already. Not soon enough for me.
They bicker some more. Sho claims that he’s sooooo busy. They bicker. This is way too much like dealing with my actual job, frankly. Irv and Denise ask if they can work together and they both say they can, very unconvincingly.
This whole situation handled very poorly, Denise wraps up by asking: “Are we good?” while both Sho and Sabrina seethe and stare away from each other. Good work, Manager Denise, I’m glad you got that fixed.
Of course it isn’t fixed and the next day Denise narrates that there’s a lot of tension. Sho, kind of pathetically, tells Denise that he feels like she’s not happy with him and it makes him “sad”. Denise says peevishly that she’s not mad at him, she just feels like when she asks him if he did something, he acts irritated. Frankly, I feel like I would totally fire a personal assistant over that. Who needs that crap?
Denise lectures that she needs to trust him and makes reference to the “personal assistant code” which I expect exists in some form, but still, it sounds especially lame when she says it. She says that he’s done nothing but trash Sabrina. Denise has done nothing but trash him and Sabrina this episode, but I guess she’s the boss. Interestingly, I actually googled around for Sho to see if he dished Denise or the show after he got treated the way he does here and he doesn’t seem to have done it. So maybe there is some silly code.
Denise says that the situation says something about someone’s character. Sho says “Okay.”in a clipped tone of voice and opens the car door, chewing a piece of gum like it’s Denise’s head. He really seems like a pretty angry guy.
The soundtrack bleeps like a PDA and Denise, slowly applying lipgloss in the bathroom mirror (presumably before throwing in a load of laundry and scouring the tub) reads a text message aloud. It’s from Sho. It’s “not working out.” You think?
She storms into the office conveniently as Irv asks Sabrina if she’s seen Sho’s petty cash report. “I don’t think we’re gonna get it,” says Denise, “Sho just quit. By text message,” Which is admittedly a crappy thing to do. Almost as crappy as releasing voicemails from your ex husband to the press.
Denise claims that quitting via text message is “the most unprofessional thing anyone could ever do.” which sounds a bit hyperbolic to me. Denise apologizes to Sabrina for her having to go through this. She says she wishes Sabrina was available for the job but she knows that she’s getting married. How is that pertinent? I mean, I guess in the Bizarro world where Denise is a poor single mom, women don’t work after marriage. She asks Sabrina to work with Irv to set up some interviews for the position.
“It’s probably a good thing he quit.” says Irv. I guess this is why Sho got the asshole edit, though it doesn’t seem like he did much to avoid it, frankly.
Nightime at the Richard’s ranch and Sister Michelle as well as Natalie, Kim and Trish have planned a “girl’s night.” Oh barf.
So they make like it’s a big surprise and guess what? It’s a spa party! “I love spas!” gushes Denise. Various spa stuff is laid out in Denise’s living room. She giggles deliriously as a faceless woman in black massages her feet. Natalie, who looks more hogged out than most of Denise’s associates and who, I believe, we never set eyes on again says “How’s yer feet feelin?”while guzzling a cocktail. I think they just, like, found her somewhere. They all talk about how nice it is to be without the kids. Denise gushes some more and says she didn’t know what she was thinking or why she was so nervous to have this wonderful girl’s night. Yeah, we don’t really get it either.
Trish, wearing a whore-load of makeup in her interview says “ This is Denise’s dream. She’s at her own home, she doesn’t have to leave, and she’s being pampered by multiple people.”
Denise thanks the “girls” (at least two of whom are over 40) for the nice time and says how happy she is that she didn’t have to leave her house.
Natalie, who appears to either be completely wasted or have some kind of British accent or both, wiggles her fingers in Denise’s face and says “It’s not over to the fat lady sings.” I feel like this is kind of an inappropriate introduction for the woman she next brings out,
Pat, who I’m sorry, looks like an chubby, elderly transsexual, comes around the corner and brays in a thick Brooklyn accents “We’re gonna have a passion party!” She has some shopping bags and is holding a book that’s called “Great Sex.” Oh ew.
Everyone bursts into laughter. It appears that Pat Davis is the president of a company called Passion Parties. She lays out a tablecloth and begins to shuck her sex-related wares while the women look on all giggly.
She demonstrates some creams and vibrators and it’s icky, not because these objects are particularly icky, but because everything is pink and purple and she’s brash and everyone’s giggling and there’s candles. I guess I don’t feel like vibrator shopping is something that needs to be done in a group. She brings out a large dildo vibrator, which they choose to blur while she demonstrates its five speeds.
“A great way to express yourself is by pole dancing!” Pat claims “Have you ever done any pole dancing ?“ she asks. There’s a quick shot of Denise with her eyebrows raised. I knew it!
A woman enters with a stripper pole that I have a hard time understanding how they’re going to install securely. Good thing they bought that screw gun earlier, I guess. They don’t show us how they get it in there.
A woman identified as Miyoko “pole dancing expert” begins to explain the basics of pole dancing. “Pole dancing expert” is certainly a new name for it. The women do the basics of walking around the pole while Denise crows “see, moms can be sexy!” She just ruin s everything. Most of the women swing around the pole the way someone who had never used one before would. Denise however, gets some serious height, before hitting the floor and curling upwards in a stripper sort of way. One of her friends reaches down and tugs down her skirt, which has hit her waist by this point. Over this ridiculous display Denise interviews ponderously in a “lesson of the day” voice that tonight made her realize that she does need to have time for herself and fun with her girlfriends. The women whoop and holler “you go girl!”as they each spin around the pole. I hope the little girls aren’t trying to sleep. “Who would have thought a few sex toys and a couple spins on the stripper pole would get me out of my rut?” I’m not even touching that one. They all spin around the pole together and fall down laughing while Natalie shouts “You dirty bitches! Bring on Hugh Hefner!’She's so wasted.
Next time on It’s Complicated: Denise gets an offer to do the cover of inked magazine. Why? She doesn’t have a lot of tattoos. And she goes back to her mom’s house for the first time so we can feel sorry for her.
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